


Is It Enough?

by iloveyou_iknow (llostt_in_ttranslationn)



Category: Legacies (TV 2018)
Genre: F/F, continuation of 1x14
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-18
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-09-07 01:21:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20301109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/llostt_in_ttranslationn/pseuds/iloveyou_iknow
Summary: For months, Josie has been telling Penelope to leave. But now, all she wants is for the other girl to stay.





	Is It Enough?

**Author's Note:**

> I’m gonna finish my henelope brotp series soon but have this for now instead.

_“I love you, JoJo. I love you with all of my obnoxious, selfish, evil heart.”_

Josie watches numbly as Penelope turns and collects her suitcase, not hesitating as she begins her exit, dramatic as always.

Josie’s brain finally catches up to the situation just before Penelope can leave the room.

“Don’t you dare walk away from me!”

Penelope freezes, but doesn’t turn around.

Josie stays planted in her spot, not yet able to move, still shellshocked at the bomb Penelope has just dropped on her.

“You don’t get to leave like this!”

Josie sees Penelope’s shoulders sag in a deep sigh, before she’s turning slowly to face Josie once again.

Josie can see the silent tears streaming down Penelope’s face, and she can’t help the small whine that escapes her lips. She’s always hated seeing Penelope cry. She hates even more that she’s the cause of those tears.

Penelope stares at Josie expectantly. She shouldn’t have stopped. She should have kept walking.

“Penelope...” Josie whimpers. “You can’t do this.”

Penelope inhales sharply. “It’s already done.”

“No.”

Penelope closes her eyes tightly. She shouldn’t have stopped. She should have kept walking.

Josie’s brain finally connects to her feet and she’s crossing the room quickly on shaky legs.

She stops right in front of Penelope, and the other girl opens her eyes when the scent of Josie’s perfume reaches her.

“You had weeks to read my letter,” Penelope reminds her quietly.

“I get it, okay?” Josie snaps, a sudden burst of anger jumping from her. “I fucked up. You should have said something to me.”

Penelope sighs. “Josie, you wouldn’t have listened even if I tried.”

Okay, maybe that’s true, but if Penelope had just _tried_, things might be different and this might not be happening.

“That’s not true,” Josie mumbles. “I wouldn’t have been able to hide forever.”

“That’s exactly it, Josie,” Penelope whispers. “I told you. I can’t do it anymore. I can’t be the only one that fights for you. It’s too much. You had the letter. You had the opportunity to take control for once. And you _didn’t_.”

“Penelope, this is a boarding school. The point is literally to be away from your home. Leaving is a choice. You’re choosing to leave me. Again.”

Penelope lets out a frustrated huff. “Yes! I am, Josie! I’m choosing to leave. I could stay, you’re right. I could let my family move without me. But my mind is made up. No reason to stay is a good reason to go.”

Josie feels more anger pulse through her, and she has to forcus on restraining herself from expressing it physically. She wants to shove Penelope. She wants Penelope to feel the hurt she does. But Josie knows that that’s a stupid idea. So she doesn’t.

“You can’t do this,” She says again.

Penelope drops her gaze away from Josie’s, looking instead at the journal log in Josie’s grasp. “Read that. For once just read something I ask you to!”

“Sorry that I didn’t feel like it was important to read a letter from the girl who shattered my heart!” Josie clutches onto the journal tighter.

“Josie, you have shattered my heart every single day since the one I broke up with you. And like I said, I can’t do it anymore. Not reading the letter was your choice. And this is mine,” She reaches out to grab her suitcase again, intent on leaving for real.

This time, Josie acts much faster. She drops the journal to the floor, and grabs onto Penelope’s wrist before she can get a hold of her suitcase.

Penelope gasps at the contact, not expecting it. She shouldn’t have stopped. Why didn’t she just keep walking?

“No,” Josie repeats firmly.

“Josie, you don’t get a say in this. It’s too late.”

“Stop, Penelope. Just stop, okay? What could you possibly get in Belgium that you can’t get here?”

Penelope lets out a bitter laugh, softened by the tears on her cheeks. “Space. The ability to not feel the need to search a crowded room just to see your face. Not having to endure the pain of you looking at me like I’m the worst person to walk the Earth.”

Josie squeezes Penelope’s wrist. “That’s not what I think about you.”

“Do you not remember telling me that you hate me? That seemed like a pretty clear indicator that I shouldn’t stay. I figured this would be doing you a favor. Since I’m so awful to be around. Lizzie is certainly grateful, I’m sure.”

“Don’t. Don’t bring Lizzie into this right now. This isn’t about her. This is about you and me,” Josie says.

“There is no me and you anymore, Josie,” Penelope meets the other girl’s eyes again.

“Shut up,” Josie warns. “There will always be something between us.”

“No, Josie. There’s me. And then there’s you. There is no us,” Penelope reiterates.

Josie is beyond frustrated. They’re talking in circles and she can’t seem to strike the right nerve in Penelope to get her to stay. It’s only a matter or time before Penelope really leaves.

“Are you siphoning from me right now?!”

Josie glances down to where her hand grips Penelope’s wrist.

She hadn’t even realized she was doing it, but it doesn’t stop her from dropping Penelope’s arm and jumping back like she’d been burned.

“I- I didn’t-“ Josie sputters. “I’m sorry!”

She can feel Penelope’s magic pulsing through her. It’s been so long since the last time she siphoned from Penelope. She swears that there’s something different about Penelope’s magic. It feels special.

Regardless of that, now Josie is charged and she needs to get rid of it before she accidentally lets it explode out of her.

“Give it back.”

“What?” Josie stares dumbly at Penelope.

“You’re unstable right now and I’m not about to be on the receiving end of another burst of flames,” Penelope tells her sharply. “Give it back.”

“I don’t- I’ve never- I don’t know how,” Josie whispers.

Penelope hesitates a moment before she reaches out to grab Josie’s hand gingerly.

Josie looks at where their hands meet and she feels pain course through her. She squeezes Penelope’s hand more firmly, closing her eyes and trying to focus on nothing but the feeling.

She’s never tried to return magic to someone before. She only ever takes it.

Ironically, apparently all she’s ever done is take from Penelope. Take and take and take. Never give.

She can do this.

“Okay! Josie, stop!”

Josie jolts back once again, a little woozy. Maybe she gave Penelope too much, not that she really has any magic of her own to give.

Penelope stares at her with wide eyes for a few moments.

“I’m going to leave now. I have a plane to catch.”

“You’re not going anywhere, Penelope. We’re not done here!” Josie protests. She doesn’t make any move to physically stop Penelope, though. She doesn’t trust herself.

“We have been done here for a while, actually,” Penelope disagrees.

Josie genuinely has no idea why she’s fighting so hard to keep Penelope at Salvatore. For months, she had wished that Penelope would disappear so Josie wasn’t reminded of her heartbreak every day.

This is karma. She wasted so much precious time and now it seems like she’ll never get it back.

If she could just keep Penelope here one more night...

“You’re out of time, Josie,” Penelope says quietly.

“Am I gonna die tomorrow?”

Penelope balks. “What?”

“Is this Merge thing going to kill me tomorrow?” Josie asks.

“I don’t- No. It won’t happen until you’re twenty-two.”

“Then there is time, Penelope. I have six years,” Josie says.

Penelope sighs. “That’s not- Josie, you don’t get it. Nothing is going to change. If I stay I’m just going to be forced to watch you melt into a human doormat. I literally will not survive six more years of that. Even the one I’ve spent doing it after breaking up with you has been too much.”

“Then help me, Penelope! Help me be selfish!”

“You are selfish,” Penelope snaps. “I have never done anything that wasn’t in your best interest. And instead of taking one fucking second to realize that, you brushed me off and sucked up every ounce of my love and threw it back in my face. There is nothing more selfish than you actively choosing to show such repulsion to me. And I accepted that. Because for once, you were putting yourself above someone. But I will not be your raft anymore, Josie. It’s sink or swim now.”

“Teach me how to swim, then! Be by my side. Help me stay afloat,” Josie begs.

“If I do that, I will be the one drowning.”

“No. It’ll be different this time,” Josie tells her.

“I doubt that, Josie. At this point there is nothing you can say or do to convince me to stay,” Penelope shrugs.

“I love you!”

Penelope flinches. “Don’t,” She growls. “Don’t you dare fucking say that when you don’t mean it. It’s not fair to me.”

“Who says I don’t mean it?” Josie says softly.

She didn’t intend for those three words to slip out. She didn’t want to admit it. Not when Penelope was about to rip herself out of Josie’s life for good.

“Stop, Josie,” Penelope begs. “I’m tired. I’m so fucking tired. I can’t do this. I’m so physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted. You can’t do this to me right now.”

Josie reaches out slowly, waiting for Penelope to jerk back.

When the raven haired girl doesn’t, Josie caresses her cheek softly. She lets her hand slide further, to grasp at the back of Penelope’s neck gently, using it as leverage to tug the shorter girl closer.

Penelope stumbles at the unexpected movement, falling right into Josie.

Josie’s other hand grips tightly at Penelope’s hip stabilizing her, and keeping their bodies close.

“Can you feel my heartbeat, Penelope? Can you fee how terrified I am of you leaving? Can you feel the way my broken heart aches for you?”

“Josie, stop,” Penelope struggles weakly against Josie. “You’re making this hard for me.”

“That’s the point,” Josie says quietly. “It would be so much easier if you just stayed.”

“For you, maybe,” Penelope scoffs. “Where is this even coming from? You haven’t given a shit about me in months. What changed?”

Josie hesitates, knowing Penelope won’t like her answer. “I thought you’d always be around. Of course I still cared about you. I never stopped. I thought one day you might decide that you could love me even when I struggled to put myself first. I didn’t realize how selfish I was being. I don’t deserve you,” She lets go of Penelope and takes a step back.

Penelope inhales deeply. She needs to leave. She needs to leave right now before she decides to stay. She can’t stay.

“You can go,” Josie murmurs, tears flowing out of her eyes again (she hadn’t realized they’d even stopped).

And Penelope didn’t think her heart could break anymore. But here Josie is, crying. Thinking that she isn’t the best the that has ever happened in Penelope’s sixteen-and-a-half years of life.

“You’ll understand, JoJo. You’ll understand why I have to go. And maybe— _maybe_, one day I’ll be able to come back. Because my heart is yours. And I’m going to leave it here with you while I’m gone. I couldn’t bring it with me even if I wanted to. Because its home is right next to yours. My home is with you, Josie.”

_Stay_, Josie’s inner voice begs. _Please. Don’t go. Don’t leave me._

She bites her bottom lip hard to keep the words inside.

“I’ll be here waiting when you come back,” She says instead.

Penelope gives a small, broken laugh. “No, Josie. I want you to move on. I want you to be happy. I want you to put yourself first. That’s what will keep my heart happy. Knowing you’re happy. In whatever way that may be.”

Josie is crumbling. She isn’t sure how much longer she can stay on her feet.

Penelope takes a small step closer, touching Josie’s face gently.

She presses a quick kiss to Josie’s lips. A final goodbye. For real this time.

And before either of them can say anything else, Penelope grabs her suitcase and walks out, pain burning as her chest aches with every step she takes away from Josie.

Sometimes, love isn’t enough.

But god, Penelope wishes it was. Every step is calling for her to turn around and run back to Josie’s arms.

She doesn’t. She keeps going. Maybe she’ll return. Deep down, she knows she will. It’s just a matter of whether or not she’ll be givin a reason to stay in the future.

Josie, crumpling to the ground next to the leather-bound log, intends to give her one.

She has six years. Six years to make herself worthy of Penelope’s love.

To make herself enough for Penelope.

To make love enough.

**Author's Note:**

> hehe oops did that hurt? find me @ _iloveyou_iknow on twitter


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